Moviephile

Well, Mr. Hall and I finally watched another Hammer horror movie. (Yes, since it is now Halloween we have officially failed our quest to watch all the Hammer Draculas and Frankensteins by Halloween - but, oh well! It was a fun endeavour and leaves us room for more Halloween viewing next time around). This one was called The Brides of Dracula. It really should have been called “Only Faintly Connected to Dracula” - because Dracula had almost nothing to do with it, and the Brides only somewhat figured in (and weren’t actually his bride, anyway). Mr. Hall suggested that it should have been called “Son of Dracula”, because the real villain was this young Baron who had been turned by Dracula. Not that he was much of a villain: he succeeded in vampirizing just three girls in this film, and one of them was his own mother (gross!). Then, in the climactic scenes, Van Helsing totally whaled on the guy - until the vampire choked Van Helsing with a chain. I was sitting there asking why the vampire wasn’t using any otherworldly powers on him (no explanation. Guess he was just tired of using his vampire powers and felt like besting Van Helsing using old-fashioned fisticuffs.) The film had a few boring moments, some inexplicable plot devices and a rather compressed ending - but we were more or less happy with it, and the way Van Helsing defeated the vampire was pretty original.

Last night, we viewed our official Halloween movie and carved pumpkins. Our “official” movie is Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting, which is THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. You know what makes this movie so scary? You never see any of the monsters. You are left to imagine the horrors of Hill House, and that is far scarier than anything they could possibly have shown. It is highly, highly unsettling, and will leave you feeling that ghosts are going to get into your brain.

By the way, I am talking about the 1960’s version of the film, not the recent remake. That film, by all accounts, sucks.

Then, because we were scared of ghosts, we watched It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! This was a good way to finish off the evening. I don’t know if we’re going to do any Halloween viewing tonight, because last Halloween I was so swamped with Trick-or-Treaters that I didn’t get an opportunity to do anything but answer the door…

Last night we did some more viewing of “classic” Halloween movies: we watched Arsenic and Old Lace, one of my favorites.

This is a classic stage farce adapted for the screen. Like many things adapted for the screen from the stage, the scenes they added so that it wouldn’t all take place in one room are kind of silly and unecessary - but it’s still an extremely enjoyable film.

It’s very funny, has classic lines and an excellent fast pace. It’s dark funny with a light twist. And it stars the inimitable Cary Grant. You definitely need to watch it if you haven’t already.

But I would like to take a moment to complain about the cover-art for the recent DVD release. Would you look at this and tell me if this looks like a dark comedy that takes place at halloween and features two (or, if you want to be strict, twenty-four) murders and psychotic dementia? I think not. It looks like some goofy romantic comedy about Cary Grant kidnapping girls.

Afterwards, in a totally non-Halloween move, we watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II.  This sparked some very intelligent conversation about whether the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were too closely tied to the 1990’s to be successful now. And also some slightly less intellectual conversation about why they only eat pizza and why they don’t ever get tired of it, and how old the “teenage” ninja turtles actually would be. You know. Important stuff like that.

Last night, Mr. Hall got home from work quite late. We didn’t have time for a full movie, so we just popped in a couple Halloween-related Three Stooges episodes. Well, to be truthful, a couple of them were only faintly Halloween-related, because apparently the person putting together this collection (called Spook Louder) didn’t actually watch the shorts; I surmise this because they included the short titled “Fright Night”, which is actually about boxing. Granted, the title is a little misleading, but really.

I feel a little guilty talking about Stooges episodes on here since I generally think of them as television rather than film — however, it must be said, they were film (albeit short film) before they were television, so it does count.

I’m just going to assume that you know who the Stooges are and start my rant:

Why don’t women like the Three Stooges?? Growing up, I had no idea about this, but apparently, as a general rule, women don’t enjoy watching the Stooges.

What the hell? I mean, seriously, women!! I have never understood how anyone could dislike the Stooges, much less an entire gender. I would make some suggestions, but I can’t even fathom it. What is there not to like about dumb guys hitting each other? Not only that, but you have to appreciate them as performers: their comic timing (in the majority of episodes; let’s not count the ones after Curly had his stroke, or after Shemp died) is utterly perfect, their improvisation hilarious, and the character balance a delight to behold. I just don’t understand how women don’t like them. If you’re a woman, would you explain this for me?

The Film Crew (spawn of MST3K) actually mentioned the woman-Stooge-hatred phenomenon in a sketch on a set of colorized Stooge shorts that they hosted: The Three Stooges In Color. (As a side note, they didn’t actually do a commentary on the shorts - they just did bumpers between the episodes [which was probably extremely confusing for the people who had only heard of The Stooges and not MST3k]. I was in transports of ecstasy over this cross-over of my favorite television show and one of my favorite comedy teams…. Almost as much as when Rifftrax featured Weird Al as a guest riffer… but I digress). They didn’t offer an explanation for the phenomenon — how could they?? — merely exploited it to comic ends, but there you have it. It exists, and it goes on being inexplicable.

Honestly, I just don’t understand women sometimes. — Mrs. Hall

I haven’t posted for a couple days… because, believe it or not, I really haven’t watched anything for a couple days. Mr. Hall has been working late again, and I’ve been reading, so the boob tube has been black. (We are definitely not going to get all those Hammer movies watched before Halloween).

There was one exception: last night, I popped in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

I feel justified in talking about this on a movie blog because - although it was a TV show - it was movies as well. If you’re not familiar with MST3K, it’s a show done in the spirit of those old afternoon shows where a B-grade horror or Sci-Fi movie would be hosted by a goofy, pseudo-scary character, like Svengoolie here in Chicago, or Vampira. However, there’s a qualitative difference: where those shows simply introduce the movie and then have comical skits at the commercial breaks, MST3K actually takes the step of commenting throughout the entire film. You can see the dark outlines of the show’s heroes in the lower part of the screen during the movie: Mike (or Joel, earlier in the series) and two robots, Crow and Tom Servo, wisecrack about the horrible movie from start to finish. It does have the comical bumpers of its spiritual predecessors, in which Mike (or Joel) talks to the evil scientists who are keeping him up in space and forcing him to watch these bad movies.

I love MST3k. It’s like watching a bad movie with a group of friends, which (with the proper movie and proper friends) is a delightful experience. Unfortunately, MST3k was cancelled in 1999 (ironically, shortly after I started watching it) - but there are plenty of episodes out on DVD.

And, for those of us who just can’t let go, Mike and Joel have both launched MST3k-like projects with a few members of MST3k casts: Joel recently launched a direct-to-video project called Cinematic Titanic (they currently have about five movies available), while Mike has both The Film Crew (also about five movies available) and a website called Rifftrax, where you can download humorous movie commentaries to sync with your own copies of films.

By the way, I can offer my endorsement of all three of those ventures. I especially recommend Cinematic Titanic’s first offering, The Oozing Skull; The Film Crew’s Wild Women of Wongo; and Rifftrax’s riff on the deliciously obscure and horrible Star Wars Christmas Special.

The main complaint I’ve heard about MST3k is when an occassional person will go, “Oh, I’ve heard of that. Yeah, I saw a couple episodes - but I don’t like it when people talk over movies.” If that’s what you think; I’m sorry, but you’ve really, really missed the point. It’s not about watching the movies. The movies are terrible! Unless your brain just works really differently from mine, there’s no way you’re going to be watching these films in rapt silence. You’ll watch them with half your attention, listen to the humorous commentary with the other half, and then hopefully add a couple quips of your own.

It’s how bad movies were meant to be enjoyed.

People don’t appreciate Jim Varney.

This is simply a fact of life. They may know of the “Ernest” movies, probably think they’re pretty dumb (even if they enjoy them) and that’s the end of that story.

The problem with this is that the late Jim Varney was actually a really good actor. Did you know that he was classically trained? The man had talent! I mean, take the movie Ernest Goes to Jail. No, it’s not the best of the Ernest movies (that would be Ernest Saves Christmas). But in it, Jim Varney manages to create two distinct characters (Ernest and Evil Ernest) - in everything from inflection to expression to muscular movement. It’s quite impressive. I dare you to watch that movie and tell me that he didn’t give an excellent performance. Yet he gets no credit for it because he flies around and shoots electricity out of his hands. Tragic.

This leads me to a bit more of Halloween-related viewing: Ernest Scared Stupid. This movie was made at the height of the Ernest character’s popularity, has the best production values and arguably the best script and story of any in the series. This movie gives me warm feelings because - although I never saw it as a child - I have very fond memories of watching it at an Honors Halloween Party in college. Best Honors party ever.

(Yes, the Honors kids watched Ernest Scared Stupid and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Well, what do you want? Honors kids know how to have fun.)

Sorry I haven’t posted in a couple days. First day, I didn’t post because I actually hadn’t watched any movies that day. Second day, I didn’t post because our Internet spontaneously decided it wasn’t going to work that day (that seems to happen occasionally when it rains). Third day, I didn’t post because I was busy voting (early voting in Chicago!) and then catching up on movie watching!

Last night another two Hammer Dracula movies came in the mail - so, of course, rather than watch them and get closer to our goal, we watched Ghostbusters II and Ernest: Scared Stupid.

You would think that after Ghostbusters being such a superb film that the sequel would be great too, right? WRONG! Ghostbusters II fails on many levels. It failed in both trying to do new things and repeating things from the first movie. It failed in spontaneity, it failed in character development. It even failed musically: where Ghostbusters has a very appealing Elmer Bernstein soundtrack with kicky rock songs throughout, Ghostbusters II has an obnoxious, cartoony score with ultra-obnoxious 90’s rap throughout. Oh, and remember how there were a lot of really good lines in the first one? I can’t remember a single good line from this movie. Oh, and remember how Winston was really cool in the first one? Well, in this one they shaved his mustache off, gave him an Arsenio Hall hairdo and made him scream like a girl on a number of occasions. Shameful! Just shameful.

Oh, I suppose this movie might be okay if you viewed it as an independant, completely-un-associated-with-the-first-one film - but if you compare it in anyway to the first, it falls flat. You know, there are even some moments where I felt like a like could have been funny, but the actor saying it failed to intone it correctly or something and it simply didn’t work. All and all, I would advise you to simply watch the first movie and pretend that this one doesn’t exist. That’s what I do.

No Halloween viewing last night: Mr. Hall worked late and I don’t watch that stuff without him. The closest we came to watching a movie was watching one Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” episode. Doesn’t count as a movie, though, so I won’t mention it.

Two more Hammer Dracula movies arrived in the mail from Netflix, along with an Eastside Kids flick called Spooks Run Wild. I love that movie: that was another one of our Halloween mainstays when I was a child.

The Eastside Kids were one of the various names of a group originally known as The Dead End Kids. The Dead End Kids were so-named because they were featured in a Broadway play called Dead End. It was a social drama of the time period and featured slum conditions and cursing (shocking!) - and these New York kids who were tough-talking and crude. Well, the play got made into a movie, also called Dead End. It was popular enough that the entire troupe of kids got featured in another movie about poverty and crime: Angels With Dirty Faces. This was an extremely popular (and extremely good) James Cagney movie.  (You should probably check that movie out as well.)

The Dead End kids made a few other films. Members were gained and lost, and their name changed from the Dead End Kids to “The Little Tough Guys” and “The Eastside Kids”. By the time they were the Eastside Kids, it was no longer social drama; with the exception of a little patriotic melodrama during WWII, it was all about the comedy. The group’s final incarnation, The Bowery Boys, was simply straight-up low-brow comedy with no attempt at social awareness (which is fine by me).

As I said, if this is the first time you’ve ever heard of this group, you seriously need to check it out. At one time they were extremely well-known: Leo Gorcey, the sometime leader of the kids, was even featured on the original cover of the Beatles’s Sgt. Pepper’s album, but was deleted when his representation demanded payment.

We finally watched that Hammer Frankenstein we had been delaying! I told you the wrong title last time: it wasn’t The Curse of Frankenstein, it was The Evil of Frankenstein . However, the title was something of a misnomer…

If that had been the title of the first Hammer Frankenstein movie, it would have fit. You know how most Frankenstein movies have him as a more or less sympathetic (but misguided) character who eventually realizes the error of his ways? Well, in the Hammer version he was just outright evil - I mean, cheating on his fiance with the parlor maid and everything, and absolutely unrepentant.

They more or less continued this theme in the second one, and also introduced some odd twists (for instance, if one of Frankenstein’s creations gets a head trauma after the operation, he or she becomes a cannibal).

However, in The Evil of Frankenstein, they more or less re-imagined the origin story so that he was a sympathetic character. All the evil in the film was actually perpetrated by a hypnotist who used his evil hypnotic powers over the monster to make him kill people and steal from churches.

I will say that this film had better production values than either of the other ones I’ve seen. However, it was also kind of boring. My husband fell asleep right through the middle of the movie and I didn’t really feel the need to wake him up until the end. I hope they improve after this one!

After that, we watched Beetlejuice. You know what? That’s a pretty bizarre movie. I’ve seen it several times, but between every viewing I seem to forget that it has Alec Baldwin, Katherine O’Hara, Dick Cavett and a whole troupe of people in it… I really only remember Gina Davis and Michael Keaton.  Which is not to say that everybody else gave bad performances… It’s just like I purposefully block out all the details of this movie in-between viewings.

I find it unsettling. I’m not really much of a “dark humor” person… And this really is dark, black, morbid humor in this movie. However, it must be said that it is a decent film with a good story, good acting, good cinematography and design, and that it encourages Goth kids to get over themselves and work on school.

And you know what? Michael Keaton is a really good actor. I mean, he’s really good. I find it an absolute shame that he doesn’t get more work. If I ever get to make a movie, I’ll definitely find a role for him in it.

Something tells me we’re not going to be able to watch all of those Hammer movies by Halloween. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re simply out of time at this point: we’d have to watch at least one a day and Netflix just isn’t that obliging.

However, I would like to take this chance to plug Netflix (and I don’t even get paid for this: I just think it’s that good). As far as movie rental websites go, they’re the tops. Really, if you have an internet connection, it makes no sense for you to rent movies the old-fashioned way. The last time I actually went to a video rental place and rented a couple movies, it was inconvenient and very expensive (TEN BUCKS for just two movies! Only for like three days, as well!) and was actually what convinced me to try Netflix, because I realized that if I bought the ten dollar a month membership, as long as I watched more than two movies a month I was actually saving money and time. Well, now we’ve upgraded our membership, and we generally watch somewhere in the region of eight to twelve rented DVDs a month, so we’re doing good, we’re saving money, and we never have to make inconvenient trips downtown (usually a round trip of two hours, counting walking and transfers) to return DVDs. As I said, I did NOT (and probably will not) get paid for plugging Netflix, but I just admire the service so much that I have to sing its praises. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

We did manage to do a bit more Halloween viewing last night - but, once again, we passed on that Frankenstein movie. The problem is, we also have all of these “standard” halloween movies that we have to watch before the big day, such as Ernest Goes Stupid, The Haunting, Arsenic and Old Lace and so on. We watched The Night Stalker last night, and it was good, as I said.

We also watched The Labyrinth, which only by a stretch of the imagination is a Halloween movie. I guess it kind of counts… I mean, some of those puppets really are frightening.

Well, last night was a further fail in the “get all the Hammer movies watched by Halloween” goal: in spite of the fact that we have The Curse of Frankenstein waiting on our shelf to be watched, we re-watched the movie Ghostbusters .

I don’t know very many people who haven’t seen the movie Ghostbusters yet. In fact, I can only think of one - and she was fictional: Mia Farrow’s character in the movie Be Kind Rewind (which featured many Ghostbusters references, by the way).

However, if you are one of the few actual, real, non-fictional people who haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it. I’m tremendously biased, of course, since I’ve been watching that movie since childhood and have loved it the whole time… It’s a great concept with great performances and some great lines. In the DVD commentary, they said something to the effect of, “This movie has the most t-shirt lines ever…” And (with the possible exception of Napoleon Dynamite) it’s true! I can think of so many great one-off lines from Ghostbusters…  in fact, at this point, many of them have been done-to-death, as it were (”He slimed me.” “Back off, man. I’m a scientist.”), but that doesn’t lessen their original beauty.

So, for Halloween viewing, I definitely recommend Ghostbusters. However, I do not recommend Ghostbusters II , which was not a good movie. I prefer to pretend that one doesn’t exist.